It all started with a catnip plant
by RayNinja
Summary: When Sissel and Lynne are sent to the pokemon world during an incident involving pixie dust, things really start getting random. By random, I mean everything from sabotage by garden gnomes to disco dance-offs! Contains spoilers for Ghost Trick.
1. PIXIE DUST!

**A/N: This story came out of nowhere like the pixie dust thrown in this chapter and is really, really random. Also, I would like to apologize to Yomiel. I do not own any of these characters.**

* * *

One day, Yomiel was about to eat some noodles when he smelled something minty. He looked up and saw a catnip plant on his windowsill that hadn't been there before. He made the mistake of sniffing the catnip plant.

A crazy look came into his eyes.

"PIXIE DUST!" he yelled as he threw magical pink glitter that came out of absolutely nowhere into the air and started running around in circles.

* * *

A few minutes later, Lynne and Sissel were walking past Yomiel's house when they heard a loud BOOM!

"What was that?" Lynne asked as she leaped the ten feet to the door in a superhuman bound of epicness. Sissel shrugged.

Lynne grabbed the doorknob and she turned it in slow-mo with dramatic music in the background. Then... she PUSHED ON THE DOOR!

It was locked.

Sissel facepawed and unlocked the door with a ghost trick. Lynne tried to open the door again and succeeded, but the dramatic music-mobile was gone so it wasn't as awesome.

Yomiel was running around, trailing pink glitter and more of a red and yellow blur than anything else. Sissel and Lynne realized that the noise was Yomiel breaking the sound barrier.

"Why is he acting so crazy?" whispered Lynne.

Sissel shrugged again. _"Maybe the evil garden gnomes-"_

"PIXIE DUST!" Yomiel screamed as he chucked pink glitter in their faces. Then, Lynne and Sissel teleported somewhere completely different.

A few hours later, Yomiel lay on the floor, panting. "I had no idea catnip did that to humans," he gasped. He got up and noticed the noodles lying on the ground. "I was going to eat that!" he whined.

* * *

**That is probably going to be the shortest and least random of the chapters. Again, I apologize to Yomiel for making him be crazy and lose his noodles.**


	2. The fifth element?

_"Where are we?"_ asked Sissel, looking around.

Lynne wasn't listening. "IS THAT A CHICKEN?!" she shrieked, pulling a gigantic fork and knife out of her pockets. She started chasing a birdlike creature that was holding a leek.

"FARFETCH'D!" screamed the bird thingie, running away from Lynne. Before Sissel could stop her, Lynne had already chased the bird out of sight. _(I didn't know she could run that fast. Then again, she will do anything for chicken,) _thought Sissel.

"That pokémon has not been discovered and registered in the pokedex's system under protocol 5302810937591038 of the Pokémon league!" said an electronic voice.

"AN UNDISCOVERED POKEMON!? I HAVE TO CATCH IT!" yelled a boy.

"NO, I SAW IT FIRST, ASH! SO IT'S MINE!" shrieked a girl.

"THAT'S A CHEWBACCA DEFENSE! YOU'RE CHEATING, DAWN!" screamed Ash.

"NO IT'S NOT! THAT IS, THOUGH!" Dawn yelled.

While Ash and Dawn were arguing about chewbacca defenses, Sissel took the opportunity to run away.

* * *

Meanwhile, Lynne had also run into trouble.

"HA HA! YOU MADE EYE CONTACT SO NOW YOU HAVE TO BATTLE ME!" sang some random kid with an orange shirt.

"I don't want to fight some random kid to the death for no apparent reason!" wailed Lynne, who didn't notice the bird had gotten away.

The kid looked confused and did a head tilt. "I meant a pokémon battle."

Now it was Lynne's turn to look confused. "What's a pokémon battle? Does it involve eating chicken?"

The kid suddenly fell over. "KIDNEY FAILURE!" he roared. When he recovered, he seemed like he was going to fall over again and Lynne thought that he'd have another spontaneous kidney failure. "YOU'RE NOT A TRAINER?!" he gasped.

"No, I'm a detective!" Lynne proudly shoved her badge in the kid's face.

"NOOOOOOO! THIS WAS GOING TO BE MY FIRST BATTLE AND THE PERSON I STOPPED ISN'T EVEN A TRAINER!" the kid sobbed. Lynne saw an identification badge sticking out of his back pocket.

"Youngster Joey? I'll remember that," Lynne muttered. When she was about to leave, she remembered the bird she'd been chasing (almost as fast as Yomiel was running when he was catnip-crazed).

"NOOOOOOO! I WANTED TO EAT THAT!" Lynne cried, and lay on her face next to Joey and sobbed.

Officer Jenny pulled her motorcycle over and did the macarena for a full minute before she addressed Lynne and Joey. "What's wrong?" she asked.

Lynne leaped up and arrested Officer Jenny. "You can't do the macarena here!" she yelled, pointing to a sign on a tree that said 'No macarena dancing for any reason*!'

Jenny pointed to the fine print at the bottom of the sign. *Unless you're a police officer.

Lynne facepalmed. Joey sprang up and randomly yelled, "THE FIFTH ELEMENT IS NOODLES!"

Jenny sprinted into the bushes and puked because she hated noodles. "The fifth element isn't noodles, it's cheese!" she countered.

Lynne pulled out her fork and knife again, which seemed much sharper than before. "NO, IF IT'S ANYTHING, IT'S _CHICKEN_!"

"NOODLES!"

"CHEESE!"

"CHICKEN!"

"NOODLES!"

"CHEESE!"

"CHICKEN!"

**"BACON!" **yelled the author. Nobody said anything because of the duct tape that had magically appeared over their mouths, so the author continued, "I guess that settles it. THE FIFTH ELEMENT IS BACON!" The author banged a gavel on a tree stump and disappeared, along with the duct tape.

"That was... weird..." Joey said.

Lynne glared at him. "I've had stranger stuff happen to me, padawan. Like being crushed by a giant piece of my favorite food!" She stared up dreamily. "Aaaah... I wish I could have eaten that."

Joey and Jenny exchanged a puzzled look, then they both hopped onto Officer Jenny's motorcycle (with growlithe somehow riding shotgun) and drove away. Jenny beeped the horn, which made a loud _MOOOOOOOO! _They had a breakdown about three seconds later, so Jenny, Joey, and Lynne walked toward the nearest city._  
_


	3. The facepalm heard 'round the world

Sissel was exploring the new place he had found himself in. After walking for a few minutes, he stumbled upon a yellow creature that vaguely resembled a mouse. _Can I eat that?_ he thought.

"Pika pi!" exclaimed the pikachu. _Why do I suddenly know it's called a pikachu?_

Sissel didn't have time to think about that because the kid from before came crashing through the bushes. "Pikachu! The poke radar is beeping really fast! We must be getting close!" Ash turned toward Sissel's hiding spot while still staring at the screen of the poke radar. Sissel ducked behind a tree. Ash kept walking in his direction and crashed into the tree because he didn't look where he was going. That's why you should always watch your step, kids!

"MOMMY! I HAVE A BOO-BOO! KISS IT BETTER!" Ash cried, holding his hand to a tiny little bruise that had formed on his face. "PIKACHU, YOU KISS IT BETTER!" Pikachu surprisingly did not facepaw, then wobbled over to Ash and kissed the bruise. "Thank you, pikachu!" said Ash.

Sissel facepawed a little too hard, creating the event known as the facepaw heard 'round the world.

Ash got up at about 13,457 miles per hour and pointed at Sissel. "There it is! PIKACHU, USE THUNDERBOLT!" pikachu shot a barely glowing, tiny spark out of his tail, which landed ten feet short of him. "Good job! Now finish it off with quick attack!" This time, pikachu successfully used the attack, but it had no effect on Sissel. What type did you think he would be, fire?

Sissel ran away, Ash following close behind. "OH, SO YOU'RE FLEEING FROM BATTLE, IS THAT IT?! WELL, I'M GOING TO CATCH YOU EVENTUALLY, JUST WAIT AND SEE!" Sissel would have facepawed if he wasn't busy running away.

A few minutes later, Ash was distracted by an almighty shout of **"BACON!"** Sissel took the opportunity to hide again and hopefully cause Ash to get another boo-boo.

* * *

Meanwhile, Lynne, Joey, and Jenny got to the Hearthome City pokemon center. "Hello! Is there anything I can do for you?" Nurse Joy greeted.

"I'm hungry. Got any chicken?" asked Lynne at exactly the same time as the garbage can came to life and danced out the door.

"This is a HOSPITAL, not a restaurant!" Joey yelled.

Officer Jenny looked worriedly at the dancing trash can. "Oh, there must have been radioactive waste in there," she observed.

Nurse Joy followed Jenny's gaze, a slightly worried expression on her face. "Oh, yeah. The player character needs radioactive waste to get into the Sunyshore gym. The game designers felt like trolls that day, I guess."

"Wha-whaaaat?" Lynne asked. "The player? This is the anime!" She arrested Nurse Joy on the charges of mixing up different parts of the same franchise.

Lynne cleared her throat in preparation of a long speech. "Your rights are..." Everyone looked expectantly at Lynne. She stared back. This continued until the SFX machine began to make cricket noises. "I'm already done. She has no rights." Officer Jenny facepalmed.

Then a piece of hot pink cheese fell into the trash can and it stopped dancing. "Oh, neon cheese neutralizes radioactivity," Nurse Joy explained. "Good thing we get the trash can back."

Officer Jenny raised a finger. "Now that Joy has explained the strange phenomenon of cheese neutralizing radioactivity, you have to let her go or be fined 100 poke dollars."

Lynne's eyes flashed red for a moment. "WHAT KIND OF A RULE IS THAT?!" she screeched, excess anger causing the handcuffs to explode. "Oh, well now that the handcuffs exploded, I have to let her go anyway. That works."

"WHAT KIND OF A RULE IS THAT?!" Jenny screamed.

Youngster Joey facepalmed, then sighed, "Calm down girls, you're both pretty."

Lynne and Jenny killed him, but Nurse Joy used her magical box of healing to bring him back to life. "Yay, I'm alive!" Joey cheered.

Lynne and Jenny both facepalmed. Lynne's was known as the facepalm that was almost as loud as the facepaw heard 'round the world.


	4. 0rangez 4 n00bz

**A/N: This is where the craziness really begins.**

* * *

Lynne walked out of the pokemon center, looking into the trash can. As Officer Jenny had predicted, there was a lump of glowing green radioactive waste in the trash can, though it was blocked by the bright pink piece of cheese. Oh, and Sissel was also in there. "What are you doing in that trash can, Sissel?" she asked.

_"DON'T BE SO LOUD! IF THAT KID FINDS ME AGAIN, I'M A CAN OF FRISKIES!" _thought-whispered Sissel urgently.

"Um, o-kay..." replied Lynne, more quietly this time.

_"Also... is that cheese blocking the radioactivity from that green lump?"_

"Yes. Yes, it is."

* * *

(This part is to be read with a bad impression of a British accent.)

Meanwhile, Yomiel was walking home from the store. He had just bought noodles, and he couldn't wait to make up for the ones he had dropped in the pixie dust incident. Lost in thought about noodles, he didn't notice the garden gnome right in front of him until it was too late. He tripped on the garden gnome and fell face first...

...into a patch of catnip.

(Okay, you can stop the accent now.)

"PIXIE DUST!" he screamed.

Inspector Cabanela happened to look out his window at exactly the right time to see a cloud of pink glitter drifting by. "Noooow, what might that be?" he wondered out loud. Cabanela danced down the stairs, other detectives gawking at him. When he got to the bottom of the stairs, Missile was waiting for something in the lobby. "Heeeey there, Missile. Be a good boy and stay where you aaaare or Lynne will reeeeeeally be mad at me." Of course, Missile barked too loudly to hear him. When he opened the door, Missile sprinted out behind him, knocking over the receptionist's desk, which was really just a cardboard box.

"MY DESK!" wailed the receptionist.

"It's just a box!" yelled Detective McCaw (remember him? The detective in green?). "There wasn't anything on it anyway."

A laser gun grew out of the receptionist's arm. "_Terminating insulter to desk_," she said in a robot voice, shooting a laser at Detective McCaw. McCaw ducked, then ran away with the receptionist shooting lasers around him but never actually hitting him because her aim was about as good as a stormtrooper's.

Meanwhile, Cabanela and Missile dashed to the place the pixie dust was coming from, which was almost impossible to miss because of the clouds of glitter and hypersonic screeches of "PIXIE DUST!"

"ARF! ARF!" barked Missile. He pointed to the bright red blur in the middle of a field.

"Aaaaah, good boooy, Missile! Maybe thaaaaat's where the pixie dust is coming froooooom." Cabanela took out a pair of handcuffs and charged at Yomiel. "YOU'RE UNDER ARREEEEEEEST!" he yelled.

"PIXIE DUST!" Yomiel screamed, chucking more dust at Cabanela and Missile, who was right at his heels.

And that is how Inspector Cabanela was teleported to the world of Pokemon.

* * *

Ash stared down at his poke radar. "I'll find you if it's the last thing I do, undiscovered pokemon!" he muttered under his breath. The poke radar pinged really loudly. Ash ran forward as fast as he could. "UNDISCOVERED POKEMON, YOU'RE MINE!" he yelled, still looking at the poke radar.

Since Ash still hadn't learned to look where he was going, he tripped over the radioactive trash can and scraped his knee. "AUGH! I'M GOING TO BLEED TO DEATH! MOMMY, HELP MEEEEEEE!" Ash wiped the two drops of blood on his knee away with a napkin he was randomly holding. Then he noticed Sissel. "AHA! YOU'RE CORNERED! YOU WON'T GET AWAY NOW, UNDISCOVERED POKEMON!" he seemed to have forgotten about his injured knee.

"Gliscor, I choose YOU!" Gliscor popped out of its poke ball and yelled its name like a battle cry.

_"How the heck did that thing fit in there?" _asked Sissel.

"I have no idea," Lynne replied, shaking her head.

"USE THUNDERBOLT!" Ash ordered.

_"System failure. Preparing to shut down."_ Gliscor emitted a few sparks, then fell on the ground with a metallic clunk.

Ash scratched the back of his head. "Oops. I forgot I wasn't using Pikachu... Oh well. I'll just have to weaken you myself!" He began rummaging around in his bag and pulled out a crate of oranges that was labeled '0rangez 4 n00bz', which he proceeded to rapid-fire chuck at Sissel. Obviously, the cat didn't feel a single one hit him.

"NOW FOR THE POKE BALL!" Ash yelled triumphantly, going through his bag again. After a while, he screeched, "What?! I'M OUT OF POKE BALLS?! NOOOOOOOOOO!" Ash fell on the ground and started crying.

Officer Jenny walked out of the pokemon center and arrested Ash (after doing the macarena a few times). She pointed to a sign that was levitating above Sissel's head. It said, No crying on pokemon center grounds*.

Ash pointed to the fine print. *Unless you're the chosen one in EVERY SINGLE POKEMON MOVIE.

Sissel and Lynne facepawed and facepalmed, respectively, and rode away on Officer Jenny's motorcycle. "HOW LIKELY IS IT THAT A WILD POKEMON FLEES FROM BATTLE THIRTY-FIVE TIMES IN A ROW?!" Ash complained.


	5. The wedding and other plot stuff

Inspector Cabanela was almost getting used to this. Nobody thought he was strange because of his Awesomedanceonia (a chronic condition that causes constant epic dancing), though many people stared at Missile and a few tried to throw poke balls at him.

However, there was one person who was always near Cabanela.

Dawn was now Cabanela's personal creepy stalker that he won in a nonexistent lottery. In other words, she had a hopeless crush on him.

Then he saw the pokemon center. Cabanela and Missile twirled in.

Cabanela immediately fell in love with Nurse Joy.

Nurse Joy immediately fell in love with Cabanela.

Missile barked at all the pokemon, instantly healing the injured ones because Missile actually has +9001 SUPER-BARK POWERS OF ARF-ARFNESS.

"Ooooooooh, LOVE!" Youngster Joey meowed, using his hand to wash his face.

Nurse Joy blushed. "Oops, the box of healing malfunctioned... I'm afraid you're going to be half cat for the next four minutes." Sissel, who was spying, having left his body with Lynne, laughed until he was blue in the "face" at the irony.

The author had to do the Heimlich maneuver on Sissel to stop him from suffocating. Even though ghosts can't suffocate.

The random guy drooling in the corner snapped his fingers, and Cabanela, Nurse Joy, Joey, Officer Jenny, Lynne, Sissel, and Missile all teleported to the junkyard from the beginning of ghost trick because there are no designated places to get married in pokemon. Sissel, Missile and Lynne recognized it and screamed, seemingly very quietly because the screams were above the range of human hearing.

Sissel, Missile and Lynne jumped into the wedding cake to hide.

"Good thing we have a backuuuuuup cake," Cabanela remarked as the cake with the trio in it was hauled off by a team of donphan.

So, the wedding commenced. Surprisingly, it was completely normal until Cabanela and Nurse Joy were supposed to kiss.

"HOW COME I WASN'T INVITED?!" screeched the author as she blasted through the wall with a rocket launcher.

Cabanela danced away. "None of us knoooooow you, baby. We're not exactly going to invite you to a weddiiiiiiiiing."

The author shot lighting all over the place, further junkifying the junkyard. The entire place now looked like a potato chip with a perfect replica of Yomiel in his weird position of death sitting on top of it. Or should I say _lying_ on top of it with its back end in the air?

"BECAUSE I'M THE ALL POWERFUL AUTHOR!" the author boomed.

"Okay, okay! You're invited to our wedding!" Nurse Joy yelled over the noise of the author charging up her shoop da woop laser.

"Yay!" cheered the author, floating into the broken chair which was somehow also not burned to a potato crisp.

The wedding continued, and since cake is overrated, the author turned it into a giant mound of bacon so everyone was happy. Except Sissel, Missile and Lynne. They were preoccupied with getting out of the cake before it was thrown into a furnace.

Dawn watched the wedding enviously. "No... JOY! YOU CANNOT HAVE MY SWEET CABANELA! HE IS **MINE!** _MINE!_ YOU HEAR!? MINE!" Nurse Joy did not hear. There was a banana fight going on and she somehow had bananas stuck in both of her ears. Dawn and Sissel both facepalmed, then high fived for being facepalm bros.

* * *

Meanwhile, the garden gnomes were having a TOP SECRET STRATEGY MEETING in their underground cave with the bright red neon sign with an arrow and everything next to it that said GARDEN GNOME SECRET STRATEGY MEETING CAVE. The gnomes were all clustered around a blackboard with a garden gnome wearing a yellow hat pointing to various locations marked with a catnip leaf with a laser pointer that was actually a desk lamp. RAY ABUSE.

"Men, we shall knock the target-" The gnome pointed to a badly drawn picture of Yomiel on the blackboard with his desk lamp- "into THIS patch of catnip!" He pointed to a particularly large catnip mark on the board. All the gnomes cackled evilly, though all of them combined didn't nearly give the impression of evil as much as Yomiel does when he grins evilly.

"WE SHALL GET OUR REVENGE FOR BEING OUT-EVILED AND HAVING OUR MAGNIFICENT HATS PLAGARIZED!" yelled the garden gnome boss with the yellow hat.

"YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" yelled the commoner gnomes.

The author turned all their "magnificent" hats into bacon. "I thought you were at Cabanela's wedding!" yelled a garden gnome.

"I CAN TELEPORT! SUCK IT, LOSERS!" taunted the author, who was wreaking havoc on the (completely empty) garden gnome village with her rocket launcher and shoop da woop lasers fired from her mouth.

The author got bored of terrorizing empty villages, so she teleported back to Inspector Cabanela and Nurse Joy's wedding party, which was becoming bacon themed plus a random statue of Yomiel.


	6. Caramelldansen for the win!

**A/N: It's probably a bad idea for me to be listening to Caramelldansen while writing this- the entire story is random enough... Also, I got some writing tips from Scarlet Phlame, so thanks to him/her! ^^ They shall be used a bit later, methinks.  
**

* * *

Dawn ran into Brock's campsite. "Darn, I was just getting used to the peace and quiet..." Brock mumbled, roasting a slice of cake over a fire.

"BROOOOOCK! NURSE JOY GOT MARRIED!" Dawn sobbed. She paused to melodramatically wipe her eyes. "TO INSPECTOR CABANELA, THE LOVE OF MY LIFE! WAAAAAH!"

Brock dropped the cake in the fire, creating a giant glittery green firework that said "The trash can is a better dancer than you unless you have Awesomedanceonia!" Another firework followed up, this one in pink: "That means you, Cabanela."

Brock burst into tears, not noticing the party being set up in the fairy-powered pink cube behind him. "Nooooo! My dearest Joy, how could you leave me for another!"

One of the readers left a review that said that this was turning into a soap opera, so Brock started singing in Italian to turn it into a normal opera. "Bella siccome un angelo in terra pellegrino. Fresca siccome il giglio che s'apre in sul mattino. Occhio che parla e ride, sguardo che i cor conquide. Chioma che vince l'ebano sorriso incantator. Sorriso incantator."

Dawn pulled the cheap clip-on bowties (with Doctor Who quotes on them) out of her ears. "YOUR ACCENT IS AWFUL!" she screamed so she could hear herself over the ringing of her ears.

Suddenly, Caramelldansen and general party noises came from the translucent pink cube that was floating thirty feet above the ground.. "WE ESCAPED THE CAKE!" Lynne sang to the tune of Caramelldansen.

_"We didn't get thrown in a furnace!"_ Missile added with a happy bark.

Sissel jumped up and down in the punch bowl. _"We're ALIVE!"_ Everyone looked at him funny as the music stopped for dramatic effect. _"Okay, YOU'RE alive,"_ he corrected himself. Then, the author teleported into the cube and impressed everyone with her mad Caramelldansen skills.

"YEAH! CARAMEL!" Lynne cheered, throwing five cubes of caramel into the air and catching them all in her mouth.

Dawn glared up at the partiers. "WE'RE TRYING TO MOPE DOWN HERE!" she yelled.

Lynne slowly moved her hand closer to the big red button. Missile gasped. _"NO! NOT THE BIG RED BUTTON!"_ Sissel wailed.

Lynne pressed the button. Surprisingly, the cube did not explode, but instead turned into a tranlucent pink paintball tank. "ALRIGHT, TROOPS! BOMBARD THE INHIBITORS OF OUR CARAMEL PARTY!" Lynne ordered.

_"Ma'am, yes ma'am!"_ Sissel and Missile saluted, then scampered around the caramelldansen author to the controls of the tank. They ended up making an epic masterpiece of Nyan Cat vs. Tac Nayn, a picture of Yomiel wearing an apron, and splattering Yo Mama jokes all over every house within earshot of the Caramelldansen (aka everywhere) in rainbow paint. The only problem was that not a single drop of paint hit Dawn or Brock.

Lynne was about to bring down army discipline when the author interrupted, "Cut them some slack! It's pretty hard to work a tank if you don't have thumbs."

"You're right," Lynne conceded. "But next time..." She glared at Sissel and Missile, who ran away.

Dawn left to go to the poke mart. "Alma innocente e candida, che sé medesma ignora; modestia impareggiabile, dolcezza che innamora ai miseri pietosa, gentil, buona, amorosa. Il ciel l'ha fatta nascere per far beato un cor. per far beato un cor. Il ciel l'ha fatta nascere per far beato un cor. Il ciel l'ha fatta nascere per far beato un cor," Brock sang before being hit in the head by a thrown loudspeaker which was playing the My Little Pony theme song on loop.

* * *

Yomiel was getting a PhD in ninja. Little bits of shattered pottery flew everywhere as he kicked garden gnomes into the tea party next Tuesday, dodging various tackles as the garden gnome with the yellow hat bellowed, "ATTACK! ATTACK!"

One of the garden gnomes began playing Caramelldansen on the kazoo, and all the other gnomes started dancing. Except for the one with the yellow hat, who was still yelling "ATTACK! ATTACK!" from the safety of his fortress of neon signs. Hey, if they block pacman, they should block everything else, no?

Yomiel thought that this transition was very unusual, so he began backing away while making a burrito out of some PB+J and a pancake that was covered in lint. The ingredients had come out of his dimensionally transcendental pocket.

Unfortunately, Yomiel slipped on a really old strawberry yogurt, causing him to fall in his trademark death pose... into a catnip patch. "PI-PI-PI-PI-PI-PI-PIXIE DUST!" he screamed, shifting out of phase a few times as he dashed off over the Caramelldansen garden gnomes' hats.

* * *

Meanwhile, Cabanela and Nurse Joy were watching the news from the world of Ghost Trick. "BREAKING NEWS! YOU'LL NEVER BELIEVE WHAT HAPPENED YESTERDAY! _YOMIEL ATE AN EVIL WAFFLE!_" The TV switched to footage of Yomiel dumping excessive amounts of tabasco sauce on a maniacally laughing waffle, which he then stuffed into his mouth. Picking up an empty bottle of tabasco sauce, he commented, "They don't make this as ketchupy as they used to." A ninja garden gnome leaped out of the bottle and kicked Yomiel in the face before landing on the windowsill and disappearing with an overdone ninja glare.

"In other news, two people, a cat and a dog have mysteriously disappeared, Team Galactic has mind controlled everyone to love Caramelldansen, and Detective McCaw is still being chased by the receptionist," the announcer announced. The TV cut to a scene of McCaw deflecting lasers with his glasses and Caramelldansen while the receptionist's speakers played that song the dwarves sing at the beginning of The Hobbit for no good reason whatsoever.

Cabanela facepalmed.

* * *

"Sissy! Missile! Where are you?" Kamila called, holding her father's hand. "I hope we can find them." she put on a pair of sunglasses that were extremely boss except for the troll face band-aid that was holding the bridge together.

"PIXIE DUST!" screamed the wild Yomiel.

Jowd sprang into action. He threw a handcuff shuriken at Yomiel, but it bounced off covered in pixie dust and hit Jowd in the pompadour, teleporting him to the pokemon world.

"DAD!" cried Kamila, shooting lasers out of her eyes at Yomiel. It bounced off his sunglasses, then off her sunglasses, and so on until Kamila directed the ultimate combo move at a random cupid who was trying to put the Temsik meteorite back into space. "Yay!" cheered Kamila, holding out her hand for a high five.

Yomiel chucked pixie dust at her, then ran off, quoting Star Trek in a chipmunk voice.

* * *

**WOW that chapter was long... Oh well, we shall continue the craziness next time XD**


	7. Justin Beiber did a barrel roll!

**Sorry for not updating in a long time... I was lazy and just discovered Vanguard, which is an awesome TCG.**

* * *

"So... do you have any idea what just happened?" Jowd asked.

"Eeyup," Kamila replied.

Jowd looked at her skeptically. "Really?"

"Eeyup," Kamila repeated.

"Oh? Then how did we get here?" Jowd was really interested now.

Kamila nodded as she answered, "Eeyup!"

Jowd facepalmed. "Is that all you're going to say?"

Kamila giggled. "Eeyup!"

Jowd thought for a little while, then smirked. "First question: Would you never, ever lie to me?"

Kamila looked confused for a moment, then tentatively answered, "Eeyup..."

"Second: are you going to say something other than 'Eeyup'?"

Kamila suspected a trap, but she still said, "Eeyup."

Jowd did an "Objection!" pose. "Kamila! You just contradicted an earlier statement of yours!"

She scowled. "Fine. I'll stop saying eeyup."

* * *

The author was bored. She never got to use the full extent of her omnipotence in the realm of mere mortals... She made some giant evil chocolate monsters and started blowing them up with her rocket launcher, which often got swapped for other weapons of mass destruction. Just as she was about to smash the last chocolate monster with a hammer, a satellite laser beam burned it up. The author whirled around to see who had the insolence to steal her kill.

"Hi," said the co-author.

The author aimed her rocket launcher at the co-author. "NOBODY STEALS MY KILLS AND LIVES TO TELL OF IT," she growled.

The co-author shrugged. "Well, I just won't tell anyone."

The author saw his logic and lowered her rocket launcher. "I guess that works..."

"So... wanna go and terrorize rabid flying squirrels?" asked the co-author.

"That's exactly what I was going to say!" the author exclaimed, teleporting to the nearest rabid flying squirrel village.

* * *

Miror B. danced into the pokemon center. Even Miror B. needs to heal his pokemon sometimes, you know! Just then, Inspector Cabanela twirled out of the back room. Miror B. watched the awesome dancing in horror as he realized that Cabanela was showing up his epic dancing skills.

"You there! With the hair that makes you look like a rooster!" Miror B. challenged. "Come and fight me on the dance floor!"

Cabanela miraculously stopped dancing. "You're oooon, baby! Aaaand I can't say that yoooour hair is any better."

The author took a short break from terrorizing flying squirrels to poof Miror B., Cabanela, and anyone else who wanted to watch to the dance floor.

The author decided to leave a tiny cliffhanger because she had other business in the story to attend to.

* * *

Yomiel was attempting to open a cup of noodles in a high-security bunker with 37-foot thick walls of unobtainium. Unfortunately, someone had glued the lid down with sparkly purple glue which was manufactured by the same company as My Little Pony, so he tried to use a crowbar, then a drill, then plain old explosives, but nothing worked. Just as he was about to start ranting about how he NEVER got to eat his noodles lately, a formation of squirrels in planes dropped a noodle bomb on Yomiel's bunker. It somehow fell through the ceiling, and Yomiel picked up a bowl of noodles. He reached for the soy sauce, noodles in hand, but as he was about to grab it, he noticed the ninja garden gnome smoke-bombing himself out of the bunker, then the thin layer of pink glitter on the cap of the soy sauce. But it was too late.

Yomiel was teleported to the world of pokemon just as the author and co-author flew after the squirrels, pretending to wonder why there was a cube of unobtainium on the ground even though they both knew exactly what it was because all authors know everything.

* * *

"Sissel! Missile! Are you here?" Kamila called as Ash ran by with the poke radar. "Even if that first pokemon ran away 346 times, I found a new rare pokemon to chase!" he exclaimed to nobody in particular.

"What's a pokemon?" Kamila asked her father, who responded with a shrug.

* * *

Missile sprinted ahead, panting. Some kid was chasing him and chucking red and white spheres, even though he kept saying that he needed to get back to Miss Lynne! He rolled around a tree, seeing Justin Beiber falling off a building with a crowd at the bottom, some of which were crying, but most of them were eating popcorn and yelling, "DO A BARREL ROLL!"

Ash stormed right past Missile, completely oblivious to Justin Beiber falling off a building to louder shouts of "DO A BARREL ROLL!"

Ash did a barrel roll, which put him in exactly the right position to see Missile. He threw a poke ball. Missile got sucked into it, then the poke ball shook three times and clicked shut. Ash tried to look up Missile in his pokedex, but it didn't work. Instead, he called Missile out of the poke ball and was promptly bitten by said pomeranian. "Ow! Pikachu, give me a band-aid!" Pikachu reached into an overstuffed backpack and pulled out a band-aid, which he calmly and gently stuck to an arbitrary place on Ash which was actually quite far from the injury.

"Arf! Arf!" Missile barked, wagging his tail after realizing that biting Ash was not in character at all.

"So you're an Arfarf, then! Welcome to the team, Arfarf!" Ash yelled much louder than was actually necessary.

Missile facepawed. This was going to be a long day...

* * *

Lynne and Sissel were having a fake tea party with mustaches and everything. "Would you like some more tea?" Lynne asked Sissel, nudging a teapot full of chocolate milk closer to him.

_"Yes, please,"_ Sissel thought. Lynne heard it, of course, and poured the cat another cheap plastic teacup full of chocolate milk. Sissel leaned down to have a sip of his chocolate milk, but his mustache fell off and bobbed around in the tea. _"Euwww..."_ He leaned back, staring at the tea disgustedly. _"I'm not thirsty anymore..."_

Lynne unhelpfully contributed to the chant going on at the bottom of a building. "BARREL ROLL! BARREL ROLL! DO A BARREL BARREL ROLL!"


	8. Sissel x Easy button shipping

**These updates are sure infrequent, aren't they? Sorry, guys. By the way, the referee staraptor is an inside joke.**

* * *

The first thing Yomiel saw in the pokemon world was a haxorus glaring at him while trying to cross its little t-rex arms. "Hand over the noodles," the haxorus ordered.

Yomiel glared back at the haxorus. "No," he answered.

"I have ax blades on the sides of my head. Does that change your mind, human?" the haxorus threatened.

Yomiel smirked. "Sure you have ax blades." He brandished his fork, yelling, "BUT I HAVE A _FORK_ AND I'M NOT AFRAID TO USE IT!"

The haxorus screamed for a second before realizing that Yomiel was talking about a fork. "A _fork_? You think you can hurt me with a _fork_?" It started laughing.

Yomiel searched through one of his pockets. "Did I say fork? I meant a bazooka." He pulled a very large rocket launcher out of his pocket (I didn't know his pocket was a TARDIS!) and pointed it at the haxorus, who raised its claws in defeat.

The noodles were abducted by unrelated aliens.

"MY NOODLES!" Yomiel sobbed, dramatically sinking to his knees while the haxorus backed away from this clearly insane person.

* * *

Youngster Joey was FINALLY released from quarantine, so he decided to go back to the place where he usually stood motionless and waited for unsuspecting trainers to walk by. As he passed by the fake beard emporium, he happened to see Ash Ketchum sprinting by. Joey opened his mouth to challenge Ash to a battle, but realized it was probably pointless, seeing as Ash was the main character and all.

Unfortunately for Joey, Ash noticed him, turned his hat around for some unfathomable reason, and pointed at Joey in a pose not too different from an "OBJECTION!" pose. Phoenix Wright grumbled about how that was his pose, then was promptly smacked on the head by a frying pan for being in the story. In case you were wondering, attached to the handle of the frying pan were both the author AND the co-author. Poor Phoenix.

Aaaaanyways, as the author was describing before Phoenix rudely interrupted her with his presence, Ash challenged Joey to a pokemon battle.

Joey facepalmed, then reached for a poke ball as Ash yelled, "Arfarf, I choose YOU!" Missile burst out of Ash's poke ball, barking.

The referee staraptor blew a whistle. "Youngster Joey is the winner!" it squawked.

Joey shrugged. "I haven't even sent out a pokemon yet, but... I'll take it!" Then he realized the gravity of the situation. "ERMAHGERD I BEAT THE MAIN CHARACTER! WOOOOO!" he cheered as he skipped around, throwing the rainbow confetti that appeared out of thin air at moments like these. Some of it was bacon-scented at the request of the author.

Detective Jowd, who was watching, groaned. This place was ridiculous! Hopefully he'd find another sane person. Eventually...

Meanwhile, Kamila had joined Joey in his little party and was supplying confetti of her own. Hers was sparkly.

Ash was raging at the referee staraptor. "Why did I lose?!" he cried, trying to hold back tears and failing miserably.

"That furry thing you sent out isn't a pokemon!" the staraptor tweeted offcially. "Therefore, YOU LOSE!"

At that particular moment, Kamila noticed Missile, who was panting happily and wagging his tail. "Missile! You're ALIVE!" She dashed over and hugged him.

"Hey! That's my arfarf!" Ash complained.

Kamila narrowed her eyes. "Why you little..." she snarled, beginning to stand. "YOU STOLE MISSILE!" she shrieked, going super saiyan and blasting lasers out of her hands as Ash fled.

* * *

Later that day, Dawn walked into a certain store. The walls had a peeling grey paint job and the merchandise was hung up on them- but notably, only behind the counter. "How can I help you?" asked the shopkeeper.

Dawn checked the price of the items she wanted, then slapped some money onto the counter. "I'll have a machine gun," she said as if it were a perfectly normal request, "with sparkly stickers on it. Ooh, and a knife."

The arms dealer was about to take the requested objects down from the wall when a perplexed expression crossed her face. "Wait a second. You're from POKEMON! How do you know about this kind of thing?"

Dawn smiled brightly. "My father is Chris Redfield."

The arms dealer raised an eyebrow. "Prove it," she challenged.

Dawn cooly made her way to the nearest boulder and immediately began punching it with all her might. The text "DAWN REDFIELD PUNCHES A BOULDER!" flashed at the bottom of the .gif.

The arms dealer facepalmed, then lay the machine gun and knife on the counter while sliding the money toward herself. Dawn skipped away, a plot forming in her mind.

* * *

Nurse Joy was sitting on the box of healing, eating potato chips and cheering. Now, you may think this is rather abnormal behavior, but Nurse Joy didn't have a couch and she was watching a really violent X-rated movie.

She paused the movie as she rushed out to see the argument between her husband and Miror B escalating.

"I'm the better dancer here!"

"No, I beliiiieve we established that I was faaaaar superior a while ago!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"Yes!"

"I'm glaaaaaad to hear you agree with me, hippie man!" Cabanela shouted triumphantly.

"You were supposed to say no, dahling!" Miror B retorted.

Nurse Joy grinned sweetly. "How about you two settle this on the dance floor?" she proposed.

Shortly afterwards, flyers and posters spread through the entire region like a paper plague. The news reached every single person at all relevant to the story, except the author, who was terrorizing garden gnomes back in the Ghost Trick universe, but she didn't need a flyer because she wrote it down in the first place.

* * *

Lynne screamed as Justin Bieber fell on her head, killing her by singing badly about how he was the first person to survive falling off of a forty-two story building. Sissel shook his head, then got to work.

_"You awake yet?"_ He poked the blue flame floating in front of him with a ghostly paw.

"OF COURSE I AM YOU BOZO AL;SKDJFA;NV;ANZS;O JF!" Lynne ranted, changing back to her normal appearance.

_"What the heck was that gibberish all about?"_ Sissel asked, edging away from Lynne.

"I JUST GOT KILLED BY JUSTIN BIEBER! THAT'S EVEN MORE EMBARRASSING THAN DEATH BY CHICKEN!" she screamed, growing more and more livid.

Sissel rewound time before Lynne could unleash the full force of her anger on him and watched the scene.

Past Lynne was munching on huge fistfuls of popcorn, occasionally pausing to yell "Do a barrel roll!" On her fourteenth fistful of popcorn, she began choking on the remains of a fake mustache and stumbled into Justin's fall zone. Just as she had gotten the mustache out of her mouth, the vocal monstrosity was right above her, and it was all over.

"A mustache? I choked on a _mustache_? Well, that's a bit strange," Lynne observed as Sissel rewound time again.

Sissel jumped from his starting point to Lynne's popcorn, counting fistfuls as he waited for the right moment. On the thirteenth fistful, he rolled the popcorn tub out of her hands, where it promptly turned into a tumbleweed and bounced across the street, getting run over by multiple cars.

"That was easy," said the easy button.

"I agree," said Sissel.

"The button can't hear you," Lynne pointed out.

Sissel turned around, hugging his easy button. "I don't _care_! Now say sorry to Mister Easy!" Sissel whined as he shoved Mister Easy at Lynne, on the verge of tears.

"Sorry, Mister Easy..." Lynne mumbled.


End file.
